I Wish You Wouldn't Go But If You Must
by Dinokitty
Summary: Tumblr prompt: It's raining and your parents just told me you ran away from home and I've been running through the rain for about 3 hours trying to find you!


Racing through the rain I held a hand up to shield my eyes from the down pour, "Damnit Al…" Cursing I began running again, calling out Alfred's name again and again in the hopes he would come out of whatever hiding hole he had disappeared to this time. Alfred didn't have the best home, at least not as far as I could tell.

His parents are divorced and his twin had been taken away when they were both nine, not old enough to understand but still old enough to remember, his father is a bitter, overbearing man whose standards he can never live up to while his stepfather is a pompous drunk who drained their family dry. His Papa, as he calls him, is a rich CEO of some vineyard and is always traveling, dragging Matt with him. It's obvious he's not happy, but I can't really do anything to help him, and neither of his parents care enough about him to do something themselves, I couldn't help but think bitterly as the cold water droplets burned my skin.

Entering the forest I saw a hunched figure running quickly but stumbling every few moments as though they couldn't see. Sprinting faster I quickly caught up with him, it's Alfred. "Al, mien Gott!" I pull him into my arms, thankful I had found him before something drastic had happened. "I've been searching for you for hours, where have you been?!"

He took a step back when I let go of him, not meeting my eyes he answers in a whisper, "I went to Allen's, h-he gave me money and I ordered a ticket to Los Angeles like I always wanted to." His voice is grim but determined and I don't want to hurt him more but really, it's near freezing and raining and I don't have any idea of how long he he's been in the rain for. "Don't take me back, God Gil. I can't take going back to that hell hole…" Soulful blue eyes look at me pleadingly and I feel a part of me break when I realize I have to take him 'home'.

I take a deep breath as though that will help me, "Al, you know I have to. I can't just keep you away, that's kidnaping and I'd get in trouble. I know that place sucks, Gott, I know how much you hate it but we both know you couldn't survive out there on your own. Alfred you're only sixteen, you've got your whole life to live, do you really want to live it on the run just so you can escape this place?"

"Yes." The whole world is quiet, just for a moment, as he says that shattering word. "I don't want to have to go to a 'home' that wouldn't give a damn if I died or not. Even if I can't make it across the world I-I just want to see Mattie again, hear Papa's voice again. I haven't seen either of them in years. I don't want to deal with Dad's disappointment every time I try something or see the way François always sneers at me…"

He runs a hand through his hair as if he can't think of what to say and I sigh. He didn't want to go back, I can't very well stop him. I can't convince him to stay, I know that much at least, but I'm not sure if he can do it and being forced back when you were so close to freedom? That would devastate him in a way that I won't be able to put him back together afterwards. "Al, if you do this. If you get on that train there's no going back. You won't have time to make a mistake, you're going to have to run every mile to get to California and then you're going to have to fight your Father tooth and nail to stay there."

It's quiet for a moment, "I know… I never wanted to resort to this but calling myself a runaway is better than forever being a disappointment." I turn away. I haven't managed to get Al back but I hope this will be better than going home. "Gil, will you leave with me? Would you be willing to run away with me? We could search for Ludwig, we could have a new start. I won't have to deal with Francis and Arthur and you won't have to put up with Ivan. Please, god Gil we could have a new start in California we could having everything if you could just come with me. Two years and nothing will touch us."

I can't help but stare at the one person I could always rely on, as I thought of the idea, running away. Leaving everything behind, but faces flash in my mind and I already know my answer. "Al, you know I can't just leave. I'm not going to abandon Toris, Eddy, and Raivis to Ivan, I couldn't do that to them. They don't deserve that, I… you know I can't just leave them like that." Blue eyes turned down again, and Alfred let out an incredulous laugh raising a hand to block his face, before the laughs turned to sobs. "Please stop crying, Gott no. I know you want me to come with you but… I can't. You know that right?"

"N-no, I know, I know but jeeze," looking down at him I saw watery eyes. "Go back Gil, let me go. I won't stay here and, and if you won't come with me at least let me go on my own. I've got a train ticket and an address I'll find him, I'll get to a place I can really call home. Gil, I need to leave now. If I don't I never will…"

"Go, keep running. Don't look back," I say my own eyes downcast now. "But please, never forget me Alfred."

"Of course, how could I ever forget my brave Prussian?"


End file.
